SAWDUST-AND-YUKS 

                                                              Jokes Page 9

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                                                                                Did you hear the one about.....

The Genie in a Bottle

This guy walking on the beach in California one day picks up this bottle and
while cleaning it up a bit, discovers that it is like an Aladdin's Lamp. The genie
comes out and thanks him for releasing him from the bottle where he had been
imprisoned for 300 years.

"I would like to grant you one single wish for releasing me, anything you
want" said the genie.

"Anything? Well... I have always wanted to see Hawaii. Can I get a nice long
vacation in Hawaii?"

"Of course you can."

"But... there's just one thing. I hate flying, so that's why I've never been
to Hawaii. So can you just build me a road over to Hawaii and get me a nice
car to get there?" asked the man.

"WHAT??? Are you crazy? Do you realize what kind of resources that would
take? How much concrete and steel? How tall the bridge supports would have to
be to reach the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? It would be a construction
project 1,000,000 times larger than anything that has ever been built on
Earth! No, I'm sorry, what you're asking would be impossible."

The guy thought for a minute. "Yeah, I didn't think of it like that, you're
right. Hmmm... tell you what, let's do this instead. Something else I've
always wanted is to simply understand women. Can you make it where I can
understand relationships, what women want, and how to communicate effectively
with them? Can you do that instead?"

The genie replied, "You want that bridge to have two lanes or four?"

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A LITTLE FLAB !!

One morning while making breakfast,

a man walked up to his wife,

pinched her on the butt and said...

'If you firmed this up, we could get rid of 

your control top pantyhose.'

While this was on the edge of intolerable,
she kept silent

The next morning,

the man woke his wife with

a pinch on each of her breasts

and said....

'You know, if you firmed these up,

we could get rid of your bra.'

This was beyond  

a silent response...

So she rolled over

and grabbed him

by his 'DANGLER.'


With a death grip in place,

she said...

'You know,

if you  firmed  this up,

we could get rid of

the gardener   the postman,      the pool man,

                 and

               your brother!

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