SAWDUST-AND-YUKS 

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                                                                                Did you hear the one about.....

The Heir

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the
family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune 
when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which 
to share his fortune.


One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful 
woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

He gathered up his courage and approached her and said:

I may look like just an ordinary man but in just a few years, my 
father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.


Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days 
later, she became his stepmother.


Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

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Penis Pay Raise

Memo to Management,

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

I do not get weekends off or public holidays.

I work in a damp environment.

I don't get paid overtime.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Regards,

Penis

=======================================================

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have

raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

You'll retire well before reaching 65.

You're unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,

The Management

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